‘Should’ I?

The ‘shoulds’ in my life seem to be taking over at the moment.

I ‘should’ clean/wash/iron (or insert whatever shit boring job here) that!

I ‘should’ call that friend I haven’t spoken to in months.

I ‘should’ go to the gym more often.

I ‘should’ eat nuts after dinner instead of chocolate.

I ‘should’ sing more songs to the baby.

I ‘should’ cook more kale.

I ‘should’ carve out more time for myself (of course only when I finish all the other shit I should be doing!)

Now, I’m 95% confident that my husband does not sit around thinking about all the stuff he ‘should’ be doing. He just gets on with his life without beating himself up and getting caught up in webs of worry, guilt or any other useless emotion. Good on him.

I am a ‘stay at home Mum’ at the moment, a term which I really hate as it seems to be designed to pit the ‘working Mum’s’ against the ‘stay at home Mum’s’, when really all the Mum’s should just support each other because it’s a freaking hard job however you do it! But I digress…

So yes, I have all the time in the world to be a picture of domestic bliss. Right?

Well, to the people (assholes) who ask me “What do you do all day?” I say this. When I do get five minutes to myself and the washing, cleaning, cooking etc are all relatively under control, these are some of the more ‘frivolous’ activities I get up to;

~ Text my girlfriends to see how their jobs/pregnancies/kids/life, are going. So they know I still love them and care about what’s going on in their lives even though I have significantly less time to spend with them now.

~ Eat. I only eat when everyone else is fed. And that includes the dog. So some precious time to perhaps poach an egg for myself is quite heavenly.

~ Write. I write blogs like these or work on my novel, which feels like it will never be done. Writing is my passion and I squeeze it in where I can to keep me sane.

~ Wash my hair, paint my toenails, pluck my eyebrows or whatever ‘beauty maintenance’ I can squeeze in.

Or sometimes I just like to sit in silence and have a cup of tea.

So I’ve decided to let the ‘shoulds’ go a bit. Unfortunately I’ll still have to clean my bathroom because I’m not Kim Kardashian. But the other stuff that is forced and laboured, I’m not doing. I’m saying no.

Now I’m off to make that tea,

C.C.

xo

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