Having it all…

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves these days to create a life full of everything. We want to have everything, do everything and be everything. But can we really ‘have it all’ and at what price?

‘Having it all’ will of course look different to everyone. Nobody dreams the same dream, so I don’t mean to generalise, but I will look at this through my own personal lens.

I was always taught that I could have everything I set my mind to. A great career, a great family, and all in all, a great life. I never really questioned this path I was on, until the path was rocky. By my late twenties I was on track towards the ‘great career’. Except for the fact that it was making me miserable. I felt sick every morning before work and couldn’t escape the overarching thought of ‘Is this it’? Was this what I’d worked so hard for? And why wasn’t I happy?

So I took the path less travelled and went back to university to forge a new path. I would have a new career that I could be passionate about. I wanted to be one of those lucky people who were excited to go to work in a job they loved. Or at the very least, not have to feel sick with the prospect of heading off to work.

While I was reinventing my career, my husband and I were also trying to start a family, which I naively thought would be as simple as deciding to do it, and then doing it. Suffice to say it wasn’t that easy. The road to baby was long and contained twisted pathways laced with heartache and the bitter taste of loss.

But we were lucky, and we now have a beautiful little girl that we cherish. On some of my darkest days I could never have imaged how lucky I would be.

Reflecting back, I’ve decided that the push to ‘have it all’ is a notion that I’d now quite like to ditch. Trying to have everything all at once, all the time, is unsustainable. That drive to constantly get everything I wanted (or thought I wanted) was exhausting and ultimately robbed me of the here and now.

So I’m not trying to ‘have it all’ anymore. I’m just having today and taking it from there.

C.C.

xo

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